| January 6th, 2007

Funny and Witty

While I was browsing through the net the following article by Shayera Moula caught my eyes, I thought it was funny and witty, and wanted to share with our readers, enjoy.Â

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The Ten Commandments for Bengali girls: Brace yourselvesÂ

That’s right ladies, it’s here and it’s in written form for the first time; so you better frame it up because following these commandments will make everyone proud of you. I mean EVERYONE, well except perhaps you yourself. But who cares about that right? I mean from physical appearance to the role of a perfect mother and wife, from educational background to a dynamic career woman and from a ‘good’ young girl to an even better woman, all of it has to be there. The color of the skin, the way you behave with others…the list never really ends! So here you go. You know all this so you also know that no one is protesting.

  • Thou shall neither look right nor left, not up nor below while strolling in the city. (They would have cut out “below” if not for those surprising manholes here and there)Â

  • Thou shall not smile, nor cough/sneeze out loud, let alone burp in public places (only men have the right to do that)Â

  • Thou shall not walk aimlessly and with balance-free hip in a public area. It will be your fault and your fault only if they can’t keep their eyes to themselves and decide to physically harass thee.Â

  • BUT (!!!) thou should wear heels and “gorgeous” outfits to look as feminine as possible. (Hence the main reason why girls turn to clumsy dolls!)Â

  • Thou shall not react to any comments; whistles or Bengali version of Bee Gee remixes sung to you by men double thy age, no matter how much thy foot twitter to kick his rear end. (Ouch!!)Â

  • (*New addition & familiar to few) Thou can choose a date partner if and only if he is Smart
    Good looking
    Rich
    Has a separate car
    Preferably is the only son of the family and is likely to inherit all property or the Family Business.
    Doesn’t smoke or drink
    Prays five times a day
    Now that’s turning out to be the Ten Commandments for how to be an eligible Bengali husband!Â

  • Thou shall NEVER walk in remote places where mastaans and other MP related zombies would try to kidnap thee. (Considering the very little number of girls that actually walk around in the city, I honestly don’t understand what all the fuss is about “walking” around?!)Â

  • Thou shall scrub scrub and scrub thyself until the “natural” white marble of thy skin starts to glow. If that doesn’t work then apply 2 tubes of foundation.Â

  • (*Optional & can vary) Thou will study thy skin off in order to get an eligible husband, who may be ten years older than thyself but will keep thee joyous in all occasions and also thy name shall have a Mrs. Dr. _________, or a Mrs. Professor____________ attached to it!!! How wonderful is that honey?Â

  • Finally, thou shall never question the Ten Commandments and also never ever ask for independence because a good girl knows that she has to eventually be wholly dependant on her husband and her in laws.Â

And remember “Jay bhalo chul bade, shey bhalo rade” (women, who clip their hair well, cook well)Â

 

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Adhunika blog is launched with a mission to share knowledge among women from every walk of life. Sometime it would be in the form of sharing experience to find a feasible solution of a problem; sometime it would be in the form of professional consultation, which Adhunika group will arrange for its bloggers. Nevertheless, the intent of this blog always remains the same - to help and empower women through a common web-based platform....read more

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