| January 6th, 2007

Funny and Witty

While I was browsing through the net the following article by Shayera Moula caught my eyes, I thought it was funny and witty, and wanted to share with our readers, enjoy.Â

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The Ten Commandments for Bengali girls: Brace yourselvesÂ

That’s right ladies, it’s here and it’s in written form for the first time; so you better frame it up because following these commandments will make everyone proud of you. I mean EVERYONE, well except perhaps you yourself. But who cares about that right? I mean from physical appearance to the role of a perfect mother and wife, from educational background to a dynamic career woman and from a ‘good’ young girl to an even better woman, all of it has to be there. The color of the skin, the way you behave with others…the list never really ends! So here you go. You know all this so you also know that no one is protesting.

  • Thou shall neither look right nor left, not up nor below while strolling in the city. (They would have cut out “below” if not for those surprising manholes here and there)Â

  • Thou shall not smile, nor cough/sneeze out loud, let alone burp in public places (only men have the right to do that)Â

  • Thou shall not walk aimlessly and with balance-free hip in a public area. It will be your fault and your fault only if they can’t keep their eyes to themselves and decide to physically harass thee.Â

  • BUT (!!!) thou should wear heels and “gorgeous” outfits to look as feminine as possible. (Hence the main reason why girls turn to clumsy dolls!)Â

  • Thou shall not react to any comments; whistles or Bengali version of Bee Gee remixes sung to you by men double thy age, no matter how much thy foot twitter to kick his rear end. (Ouch!!)Â

  • (*New addition & familiar to few) Thou can choose a date partner if and only if he is Smart
    Good looking
    Rich
    Has a separate car
    Preferably is the only son of the family and is likely to inherit all property or the Family Business.
    Doesn’t smoke or drink
    Prays five times a day
    Now that’s turning out to be the Ten Commandments for how to be an eligible Bengali husband!Â

  • Thou shall NEVER walk in remote places where mastaans and other MP related zombies would try to kidnap thee. (Considering the very little number of girls that actually walk around in the city, I honestly don’t understand what all the fuss is about “walking” around?!)Â

  • Thou shall scrub scrub and scrub thyself until the “natural” white marble of thy skin starts to glow. If that doesn’t work then apply 2 tubes of foundation.Â

  • (*Optional & can vary) Thou will study thy skin off in order to get an eligible husband, who may be ten years older than thyself but will keep thee joyous in all occasions and also thy name shall have a Mrs. Dr. _________, or a Mrs. Professor____________ attached to it!!! How wonderful is that honey?Â

  • Finally, thou shall never question the Ten Commandments and also never ever ask for independence because a good girl knows that she has to eventually be wholly dependant on her husband and her in laws.Â

And remember “Jay bhalo chul bade, shey bhalo rade” (women, who clip their hair well, cook well)Â

 

No Responses to “Funny and Witty”

  1. Lubna says:

    Dear Author,

    I especially liked the part:
    “Thou shall scrub scrub and scrub thyself until the “natural” white marble of thy skin starts to glow. If that doesn’t work then apply 2 tubes of foundation”

    And Americans complain that discrimination based on skin color exists only on U.S. soil?

    There is this one highly educated, genuinely nice ,charming and traditional South Indian woman I know, who was rejected by the prospective groom on one of her “fixed” dates. He complained that her skin was too dark. Upon hearing that feedback from her relatives, she became very sad and hurt.

    Regards,
    Lubna

  2. Nazia says:

    I’m truly surprised seeing how the desire of a fair complexioned wife still remains the top most criterion, in bride searching. I expected the educated men of the 21st century to be sensible enough to look for other qualities in their future wives than just the complexion. Even when some of them have overcome the idea, they have failed to transfer the progressive mentality to their family.

    Another trend that I’m noticing here in Dhaka is that a lot of single men remain in a relationship while their parents look for a bride. And upon finding a decent one, these men immediately abandon the girl friend and get married to the girl their parents have chosen. I cannot deny that some girls also follow the trend. In fact they probably did it more in the past as they often did not have any say on their marriage. But for men today such immoral behavior is inexcusable.

  3. Sharmin says:

    I have see several incident where the girl/family rejected the guy because of his dark complexion. So don’t blame the guys only that they are looking for good looking girls.

    It is universal that people are naturally attracted to good looking people, so I won’t even spend any time on it.

    I would rather spend my time on how to improve the confidence on young boys and girls who don’t fall in the category of “good looking” by general mass. Appreciation, motivation … all these are my favorite tools there.

    -Sharmin

  4. Kawser says:

    Thanks ladies. The secret is out looks like.Sure would help some people.

    Thanks
    KJ

  5. RK says:

    Dear Author,

    I got a good chuckle out of these ten commandments of yours. Thank you for brightening up my crazy day.

    Nazia,

    From personal experience with many Bengalis at home and abroad, I’ve come to the conclusion that family pressure, not education, makes young men and women make decisions that are completely mind boggling.

    Emotional blackmail is rampant in our society. An effective way to separate your wants from the wants of others is for educated young men and women to recognize the signs of this kind of blackmail and understand how it affects their lives.

    Until then, we can either sit back, watch, and have a chuckle or shake our heads from time to time, or take an initiative to learn more about emotional blackmail and try to raise awareness among the young.

  6. Sharmin says:

    Hi RK,

    Good points. Can you share your thoughts on “raise awareness among the young”?

    One example, this is one girl from a middle class family, looks like an average Bengali girls, is now curretnly pursuing her BS/MS (or graduated recently) in a public university. She already figured that the guys are not too interested about her (because they are after the “good looking” ones). But she wants to get married and have a family sonner or later. Now her family finds a “suitable” guy for her(according to the parents) and wants her to get married.

    What are her options?

    -Sharmin

  7. RK says:

    I found it interesting when you wrote “she already figured that the guys are not too interested about her” because she believes that guys are only after the good looking ones. Questions: What defines “good looking” in her definition? What does she consider “good looking” from a guy’s perspective? Why does she think she is average or not good looking enough? Is it a conclusion she has come to herself? Or has she been told that by her family members all her life?

    How we perceive our self image, self esteem, self worth stem from what we were led to believe from a young age by people we trust. One effective way to raise awareness among people about emotional blackmail is by questioning how you came about your belief or perception of someone or something. Is it something you’ve learned over time on your own and developed your own opinions about? Or is it something that you’ve been told enough times until you finally believed it to be true?

    What are her options? It depends on what she values most in her life.

    If she values the happiness of her family more than her own, then she doesn’t have much of an option. But I can guarantee you that you can NEVER make everybody happy all the time. If you are too busy making others happy, then you won’t have time to take care of yourself.

    If she values her self worth and starts to believe that most of us out there ARE average looking, then life will take her down a different path. A path that is challenging from time to time, but also is very rewarding.

    I will strongly suggest readers to pick up a book that helped me understand how emotional blackmailers work. The book is titled – Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You, by Susan Forward. If your life relates to the book, I guarantee you that you’ll understand your life better and will learn how to bring back control over your life gradually.

  8. Phantom says:

    The girls from Somalia and Ethiopia have dark complexion- far more darker than than our girls in Bangladesh(the coastal regions have very dark complexion)-my American,European colleagues in UN(all working for Refugee ops) were absolutely stunned by the features and figures of these dark complexed girls/women- they would beat the Hollywood/Bollywood actress at anytime.
    Many of the Americans openly mentioned to me that they would consider marrying Africans or Asians because they find them more beautiful and that they are not so independent like the Americans.Asians n Afrucans are more adjustable and accomodative– that was their statement.
    Sharmin,
    Refyr#6-You will find useful tips on my comments #8 under topic Thoughts on Divorce”,#17 under topic 0f choices and decisions”, #24under topic Single Women in Society,#13 under topic Say No to Marriage of Convenience and #7 under topic Name Change after Marriage- all these points will help you to advise the girl and others.

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