Having a baby is a joyous experience of our life. Despite many worries during pregnancy, we all cherish a picture perfect healthy, cuddly and cute baby in our arms. Everyone we know gets involve to make plans around that bundle of joy; while we bask around in the thought of motherhood in due time.

Now picture this, you are 24^th week pregnant, your doctor just told you one of your twin babies didn’t survive in the womb and you have to go through a c-section in couple weeks to save the life of your baby. You are in a shock; in total disbelief, you don’t know why this had to happen to you, you have done everything humanly possible to follow your doctor’s order, or what you read on the magazine on pregnancy, or what your friends and family are telling you to do. What did you do to deserve something like this? Why you? You already chose the names, made plans for the future, now what?

Recently, when I got such a call from a friend who lost one of her twin boys, and gave birth to a 2 pounds 2 oz. boy weeks later, I knew we had to look for ways to build a support system for ourselves; she is the third in a row of my friends who had gone through traumatized experience during birth of child/children. I wanted to find out how do we take care of ourselves while we are taking care of that bundle of joy. My search on the net took me to March of Dimes website which has answers to many of my concerns – how do we deal emotionally, how can we include our family and friends in the process. Often people may say things that may hurt, we need to let them know they need to stop if they continue to say hurtful things, and find other sources among friends and families to get the emotional support we need. It is only natural to feel anxious, and uncertain of our abilities to nurture our baby, but we need to express our feelings with our loved ones, so they don’t just assume we are doing okay; and it is normal to feel ˜not okay” when we are going through a crisis.

If you or your friends have gone through such experience and know how to best deal with the grief, please share with us. We can build a support system when we share our pain and strength with others.