* mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: friendship at an Impasse
relationship:
From Dr. Apter Research paper:
An early reference to the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship presents a glowing image of commitment and loyalty. In the Bible, Ruth makes one of the great, classical declarations of love – to her mother-in-law, Naomi. But Ruth’s eloquence presents a lost ideal. A modern day Ruth, a 33-year-old barrister, who participated in my study, buried her face in her hands as she described a recent visit from her in-laws: “Normally I’m a reasonable and fair person. Normally, I am quick to appreciate other people’s qualities and to key into their point of view. But these virtues fail to materialize in the presence of my mother-in-law.” And Ruth’s mother-in-law Joyce, 59, is bemused by the split between how her daughter-in-law is with other people, and how she is in her presence: “I see her talking and laughing on the phone, and she’s a different person. With me she’s sullen and withdrawn.” Mother/daughter-in-law relationships often reach an impasse, yet very little research has been done to discover just what’s going on – and what’s likely to go wrong.
Read more:http://www.motherinlawstories.com/terri_apter_research_paper.htm