| May 21st, 2007

* what are women looking for in their friends?

“The difficulty is not so great to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.”

Friendship is a priceless gift, which provides intimacy, rapport, trust and affection when we need it. Both men and women are fond of their friends. Some find it hard to make friends as they grow old, at the same time the two sexes often look for different qualities in their friends. A few find it hard to maintain childhood friendships, while others believe you can never make as good friends as you have in your childhood. Many of us have no time to socialize and are losing their old pals, some others spend so much time socializing yet have not found a true friend!

Talking with some of my female friends and colleagues recently, I found out that more or less every one have complains about their social life or find it hard to get along with the people they meet in their everyday life. So I decided to ask readers of Adhunika what they think are some of the things they look for in their friends? Or what are some of the characteristics their best buddies have in them for which they are still such good friends?

Many young women claim that they don’t seem to get along well with female friends as they reach their 20s. Previously the sexual tension between a man & a woman was too obvious to ignore in any relationship. But as women have come out of the era where they remained at home and contact to the men of the outer world was made only for romantic interest the sexual tension has decreased quite a bit. The new problem now is the tension between partners about one of them being close friends with a member of the opposite sex.

I personally think I need both male and female friends in my life. There is no compromising the girl talks, the shopping sprees together, the gossips, the long discussions on just about anything and everything with my girlfriends! The sharing of the wonderful things one’s boyfriend or husband does, no man will understand and appreciate the cutest gestures the way girlfriends can. A study from Manchester University concluded recently that women share “deeper and more moral” friendships than men. At the same time I must mention guy friends are often a lot of fun too, they are informative about things I don’t know much about, are more adventurous, and sometimes can also help one out is relationship issues as they bring in a male perspective. And more importantly there is less jealousy and competition between friends of the opposite sexes than same sex friendships.

As I am growing older I find it hard to endure certain traits in people, which I probably have put up with earlier. The friends that I have made earlier in life come from diverse backgrounds, and I have accepted our differences and have built a companionship which is hard to devalue over petty matters such as competition and jealousy. But when socializing with people I didn’t know before, I prefer individuals who have similar interests, are in the same career field as I am or can come to some use for me! Maybe I’m becoming a bit too selfish, but then again aren’t we all at times?

My friends and acquaintances mentioned many other factors which influence friendships of women like time, common values, respect and trust between the two, openness to sharing and caring, common friends, family friends, extended family and others of the sort.

There are many websites on friendships. Here is a list of a few- The 6 Must-Have Friends:


There are many websites on friendships. Here is a list of a few- The 6 Must-Have Friends: How does Men and Women Make friends:

On how to make friends:


We are looking forward to all our readers opinion on what is it that you look for in your new friends, or what is the reason you are such good friends with your old friends? What are the problems you face among friends? What can be the solutions?


About this blog

Adhunika blog is launched with a mission to share knowledge among women from every walk of life. Sometime it would be in the form of sharing experience to find a feasible solution of a problem; sometime it would be in the form of professional consultation, which Adhunika group will arrange for its bloggers. Nevertheless, the intent of this blog always remains the same - to help and empower women through a common web-based platform....read more



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