Few day’s back I saw a book lying on my male colleague’s table, it was nothing but a book on Women’s empowerment, I smiled and said ‘think about women’s existence.’ He immediately asked ‘ Being born in a relatively wealthy family, do you ever feel discriminated?" I replied ‘Yes I do, the day I was being born as female, I were discriminated by Allah and later by the society. ’

From my childhood I always used to ask my mother the reason of providing much more amount of food to my brother. I always used to make her clear that not because I want the same amount but because the reason for giving everything unequal. My mother who has a master’s degree and a teacher (teaching the future generation of our country) of a well-reputed school in Dhaka used to answer that he is fat and he requires more than we (two sisters) do. I was never convinced. Later when, I grew up and showed her Meena’s episode related to this incident (UNICEF production, it talks about equal rights in one of its episode) she could hardly remember. She was no exceptional but a representative of our society who continues to keep up the tradition to discriminate without any other intention.

I must say being an ordinary student, my parents provided me education, and I completed my masters from a neighboring country. When I came back, I decided to remain at least a year with my parents to take care of them. The proposals for marriage started coming and I said about my decision. It seems no girls have ever given such a thought and they immediately refused to hear such things. My master’s degree appeared to me as a certificate for marriage than anything else. At one point my relatives started thinking that if I were going around with anyone otherwise a girl of our society in her marriageable age couldn’t say NO. On the opposite side we always see that the guy will get married after building his career (there are some valid points in it). But their No is hardly asked for an answer WHY? .

Today, at the age of 25 when I am still unmarried, any rebellious answer or laughter signifies abnormality. And I feel I am often easily linked because it is the only weak point!!! that comes to their mind. On the contrary, my elder sister came after 2 years from abroad was shocked seeing my timid ness. I still remember saying her that ‘ Why do you listen everything of everyone? Take your own decision". I could not say her; my right to speak has been hijacked.

When I work for the have not and promise to change their attitude towards women, I myself feel very uneasy. When I say ‘Educate your daughter’ – what do I really mean? I do not know. Long time back when my mother used to tell that our young servants would be provided a lot of materials during their marriage, I remember saying her that ‘Please provide them basic education.’ At that time I had hopes and dreams about the visible changes of society but today I tell my mother to give them a lot of dowry to buy happiness. How much ever we claim society is moving ahead, I see my friends having ambitions remain at home to look after the home; Thank God that they are not prohibited to go for job but they are not encouraged even. The condition often is to ‘ after tackling your children and home, you can go for a job.’ A little help is not even assured. It is sad to see neither their household work have been recognized nor did their outside work have been encouraged.

When so-called educated upper class could not change the basic attitude why, and how do we want the miracle to be happened at the grassroots?  

2003