Somebody was knocking at my door, I wondered who would dare to visit me that late at night. I opened the door with much hesitation and was surprised to see in front of me a beautiful lady wearing black sharee and a garland of bead. She seemed very familiar to me but I could not recall her name at that moment.

On hearing my obsession, she told me she was aware of my desire. She said to me, “Someone in Paris informed me about your eagerness to meet me. So after landing in Dhaka airport, I wasted no time to come to you.” 

I enquired about her disappearance and asked her why she was so late in returning to her own motherland. In reply, she at first mentioned about the backward mentality of our so-called male dominating society where her creations were not quite accepted enthusiastically. There was no choice left to her to work independently. But since she always wanted to uphold her independence and personal integrity, she cut all ties with the society.  

According to Novera, sculpture was a path, a way to find her own truth. She would not compromise the search for that truth by selling herself. So she decided not to come back again. But when after thirty years, she heard that her activities were recognised nationally, she had decided to return.  

I mentioned to her that although her creation was accepted lately, I really wondered whether her stance of independence would be valued in our country, since women are still treated here as showpieces. She asked me if she could to fight for her identity thirty years ago, then why women of present time would not be able to do so. It was surprising for her not to find any young educated lady living like her courageously.  

Then Novera asked me to look back at her past. In the fifties, she did not hesitate to become a sculptor, although no female was there in that field. From the very beginning, she was discouraged by everybody. But as she was adamant in her opinion, her ambition was fulfilled. 

She mentioned that if someone really wanted to do something, then nobody on earth would have the power to pressurise him/her. At first, one should decide about what he/she really wants. When he/she can clearly visualise his/her motive then he/she nay proceed whatever the barrier is.

I told Novera that I was always dreaming to be a revolutionist like her but as I was brought up in a conservative family, I would not dare to revolt since my parents brought me up as backboneless. For that reason, whenever I wanted to do something firmly, I always doubted whether I would be suitable for that. I also mentioned to her that I had no place for solace, nobody in my family was able to understand what I really needed.

Hearing my misfortunes, Novera told me that the best way to protect oneself from unfavourable circumstances was to create one’s world where whenever the sufferings came one might devote him/herself.  She cited herself as the best example of that suggestion.  

Her eccentricities and her Bohemian glamour were not the apparels she wore. They were what she was. In our present world where artists innovate, emulate and cultivate eccentricities to disguise the pallid tastelessness of their creations, Novera’s genuineness was in fact like a breath of life.  

It was almost 4 O’clock by my watch when she said good-bye to me. Before her departure, she invited me to visit her in Paris. She also assured me that she would always respond to my queries. Being assured by her, for the first time in my life I felt myself not alone in this unfriendly world. I told her that her regular writings to me would help me to build up my confidence.  

It was shocking for me to see off Novera and I burst into tears when she left me.  

Then someone was pushing me. I woke up and then found myself miserable enough to say or do anything.  

“Oh No! Am I dreaming?,” I said to myself. It took me quite sometime to realise that it was not real. Actually, I spent pretty good time with her in my dreams last night.