First Steps to Independence  

Afrin Anwar

Most of the decisions in my life happened fast and spontaneously. So the decision to transfer my credits to a school abroad came for a reason and soon I started to work for it. When I got my visa for Canada in hand, I realized I am leaving my home for real. The next few days after that passed like a fast running train, I wanted to get a hold of it, take my time and do a lot of stuff that I planned to do before I leave but most of them were undone at the end.

I was leaving finally at 29th of December. The night before all my relatives and friends came to see me off. My whole house was crowded .I don’t know why I felt this immense emotion inside me while hugging a family member or a friend that night and to say goodbye for a long long time. That day I could see and felt my importance to them and place in their heart. Most of them had tears in their eyes (along with me) and One of my aunts joked that it seemed like it was my wedding, only the husband is missing. The next moring was the flight time and a whole of bunch of my friends and my family came to see me off at the airport. I never really left my family or friends like that before. For the first time ever I felt the value of these people in my life when I was walking away from them towards my new life in a complete unknown country.

On the way, I took 3 days transit to Paris to meet my maternal aunt (choto khala). Paris is supposed to be a “dreamland”, a very romantic place to be. But I rather find that place dirty, in both sense of the word. During the three-day stay at Paris, I didn’t really love it as much as other people said they did only with the exception of Eiffel tower. That was a true beauty both in day and night.

Then it was again the day to leave for my final destination Canada. Rather than being excited of going to a new place, I was lost with thoughts and sadness of living so far away from Bangladesh, from my abba amma, my brothers …my sisters, my relatives and of course my friends. Luckily I already had a childhood friend in my new school, ACADIA UNIVERSITY. I choose this school partly because of her. My new school is in Nova Scotia, Canada. It’s in a small town Wolfville, A University town which is totally based on our school. When I first got in there, I was shocked since I was expecting to see a place with malls, with lights with cinema halls around like you see in movies or hear from people’s stories. But all I could see is my campus and only quite a few numbers of shops here and there. The first day it seemed so dead that it only deepened my sadness and increased craving for my home. But after few days I calm myself down with the thought that this is a perfect place to study with no temptation or distraction around. Just tried to be positive.

The first few days I passed in my friend’s house. Then it was the time to get into my dorm. I was assigned a double room and knew my roommate’s name since the accommodation section provided me her name and email address much before I got in Canada with my dorm room assignment papers and I contacted her from Bangladesh and she seemed like a nice girl to me. Her name was Shelly Palmer and was from Canada. She was very helpful in the beginning. She introduced me to most of her friends in the dorm. And we also had somewhat good understanding with sharing the phone or the room.

But after few days we started to have problems with the phone. One day my parents called me from Bangladesh at their night time which was our day time in Canada and that woke Shelly up. That bothered her. I said sorry to her later that day but she brought some other issues and kind of yelled at me and stormed out of the room. I was surprised and shattered to see that new Shelly and the sudden transformation. Then we decided not to be in the same room and she moved to her new room and I had a double room all by myself. That was a very bad experience in the very beginning and that added to the bad time I was going though during that time but I took that as a learning lesson. I considered her a very good friend and I thought we are doing fine and have good understanding. But didn’t know that she had pushed all these issues inside her and popped them out that day of the call. But everything happens for a reason in life and that incident made me learn a lot. Today Shelly and me are very good friend which couldn’t have been possible if we would have still living together in a same room.

Everything was going fine except that I missed my home very much and used to cry every other day. Soon I met and made some friends from different countries. Apple from Bahamas, Tyren, Stell and Shelly from Canada and Stephanie from Australia. We had some nice time together had shared our life stories and I was surprised to see that all human being is basically same with some cultural differences. We cry AND laugh for the same reason. The emotion and the basic human instinct inside are almost same. I learned a lot about life. Not only from my foreigner friends but also from all the Bangladeshi people I met there and made friends with. I could see how drastically some people can go beyond their principles, how fast they can change and leave their culture behind and again how some people try their best to recreate a Little Bangladesh in a strange foreign country.

I can not really claim that I am all-full of experience and couldn’t learn much than this. But this past few months have really add up to experience. I now have many beautiful memories that I can treasure for my life. Many painful experiences that I can take lesson and have learned from. I now know the value of independence. All I can say is now I know much and am waiting to know more.

Canada, 2002