She was always a phone call away ! It didn’t matter when I called – I knew she would pick up the phone and I would hear the familiar soft voice. I knew if she wasn’t there she would call me back at her earliest chance, and we would talk about things that matter the most at that time, I always knew I would find comfort talking to her. 

I first met her when my bhabi Leena came into our lives seventeen some years ago, a bhabi who keeps the harmony in the family amidst all the eccentricities and whim of our siblings, had this wonderful younger sister named Laboni – who with the similar nature slowly became a part of the family. First couple years we would briefly see each other on social occasions – we both were busy with our own world. Eventually we both moved to different parts of the States – with a undergraduate degree in Political Science from Dhaka University, she would follow her soul mate and start their life together in Texas. When I look back I don’t think it mattered to her if she finished the degree, or if he was just a student,  it only mattered for them to just love each other and be together happily ever after. Before she joined her husband Mahfuz Imam - Shobuj in Texas, he briefly attended the same school where I was attending, and gave me all the brotherly support and advice to face the challenges in the new environment. That support made it easy for me to build the kinship with Laboni. Later, both would come back to visit all the friends, and we would go to the places so they could share the experience together. 

I don’t remember when was the first time I heard that Laboni had a heart disorder, or she was diagnosed with damaged lungs, or the doctors told her they would need both organs to match to do the transplant.  For years to the rest of us, she and Shobuj was living a peaceful, normal life; according to them, there is some discomfort but nothing major.  The time when me and my partner went to visit them in Dallas was the first that we realized how agonizing the experience was – the oxygen, the medication, the pain, the discomfort.. yet, no complain ! Both were busy entertaining us, Laboni was cooking for us, watched movies, they drove us to places, she gave us plants from her garden to bring home. In next couple years I would go and visit her one more time before they would buy a house, and that time she drove me to places, sew dresses for me, made bracelets for me with turquoise colored beads, proudly showed me the picture of a girl they adopted through Save the Children, and made sure I was having the best home cooked meal, When I was leaving she gave me chilli and other plants from her garden to bring home.

She started taking classes at Southern Methodist University, didn’t want to just stay home. We would talk about the classes and future plans and in between. Both of them were working on the new house, sent pictures of her new garden and the house, and the burning question was repeated – ‘when would we go and visit them again ? She would love to have the family to go and see the new house.’ Last year, finally my sister and her family went and stayed with them for Christmas vacation, our nephew had the best time of his life with his favorite aunt and uncle, he got all the attention in the world, and was showered with gifts and love from them.  

When the adhunika website was taking shape, Laboni was the first few who would send pictures and articles regularly to publish and support the group. Called her friends to see if anyone would find information on Pratibha Mutsuddi – her former Principal from Bharoteshowry Homes and an aunt in relation – she wanted to honor the person who influenced her life in many ways. It seemed she didn’t want to disappoint anyone. In recent months, she took her photography very seriously, she said she found her calling in photography. She would spend hours in the lab, would be exhausted, yet sounded very happy with her creation. Her latest accomplishment was taking pictures of Ravi Shankar and Anuoshka Shankar when she went to see them in concert, she was delighted with the honor.

Then came the year end vacation, and when she found out while my partner is traveling home I was going to stay at a friends for the whole week and not with her, she said, “You didn’t do the right thing, you should have been to see us, very bad.” I laughed and said, ‘yes, we would go and see them next summer’. We talked about our plans for new year, she had registered for classes and was thinking of starting her own business, so she can buy her own equipments. We talked some more, and said good bye, that was 17^th of December.

On Saturday, December 20^th early in the morning I received an email from Shobuj that Laboni was at ICU in the hospital, a routine checkup turned into a disaster. he wrote things are stable but Laboni is very, very weak. And I was alarmed, I have never heard him say she is very weak before.. they both have survived numerous traumatic experiences. The following day passed without any news from him, I knew he was at the hospital by her, and can’t use the cell phone from there, so I waited patiently to hear from them. Called the family members to see if anyone had any updates on Laboni. Whenever I called their place I could hear her familiar voice through the answering machine. On Sunday, Shobuj called, and said she is still at the ICU, her heart beat is slow, but she is fighting with her will, and I was saying, ‘call me when she is transferred to a room where there is a phone, so I can talk to her… when is she coming home ?’ Monday came and went  - she is still there. Tuesday came, while I was waiting at the bus terminal for my friend to pick me up, I called Shobuj around 2:30, feeling guilty that I didn’t go and spend time with Laboni, the phone rang and I didn’t hear the familiar voice of Laboni on the answering machine, it just seemed ominous, but I left a message saying I will call and talk to them. Of course things will go better – she will go home and we will catch up. That evening, a call came from Canada, her sister-in-law was on the other end - ‘did you hear the news ?’ My heart skipped a beat, ‘Laboni is no more ! ’  

I dreaded talking to Shobuj, I didn’t know what to say, what do you say to someone who has lost the most dear to his heart ! Finally when I called I could only listen, he said, ‘Laboni is in a better place, she didn’t have any regrets, neither do I, it is only a matter of time, she has gone and I will join her soon, we have talked about these for sometimes, don’t be sad… .’  On her request, Laboni was buried in Dallas, she wanted to be close to home, close to the place they dreamt and built together.   

After a peaceful soul searching week with my friend and her sister, finally I came home to find many things in our place that reminded me of Laboni, friends and family are calling to see if I was okay, and yes I was.. I am alive ! I tried to stay calm, Laboni would have wanted me  to stay calm and be okay. I called my bhabi and told her, ‘I would miss that voice, most of all I would miss her caring soothing words, all these time she was always there to see if I was doing okay ! I would miss her. ‘

January 5^th, 2004

gardening:

• From Laboni's Garden

• Yes, I am a Nature Freak !

• New Life

photo gallery:

words of wisdom: